Self-Care & Wellbeing
You cannot pour from an empty cup. And autistic cups drain faster in a neurotypical world. — Autistic community
Why Self-Care Matters More For Autistic People
Living in a world not designed for your neurology is inherently
exhausting. Autistic people spend more energy on daily tasks that
neurotypical people do automatically — filtering sensory input,
masking, navigating social rules, managing executive dysfunction.
Self-care is not indulgent; it is **essential maintenance**.
Energy Management
Spoon Theory & the Energy Bank
**Spoon Theory** (Christine Miserandino, 2003) explains that
chronically ill and disabled people start each day with a limited
number of "spoons" (energy units). Every activity costs spoons.
For autistic people, activities that drain spoons include:
- Sensory processing in overwhelming environments
- Social interaction (especially masked)
- Transitions and task-switching
- Processing unexpected changes to routine
- Executive function tasks (planning, organising)
- Processing strong emotions
- Being in unfamiliar environments
Managing Your Energy
Practical strategies for preserving and replenishing energy:
- **Track your spoons** — learn which activities cost the most
- **Plan high-energy activities for peak times** — when are you most alert?
- **Cancel without guilt** — protecting your energy is not selfishness
- **Batch similar tasks** — reduce transition costs
- **Alternate active and passive activities** — do not stack demanding tasks
- **Say no** — "I do not have the capacity right now" is a complete answer
- **Rest before you crash** — proactive rest prevents reactive collapse
Stimming
What Is Stimming?
**Stimming** (self-stimulatory behaviour) is repetitive movement,
sound, or action used for sensory regulation, emotional expression,
focus, comfort, or joy. Stimming is **natural**, **healthy**, and
**necessary** for autistic people. Supressing stims leads to anxiety,
burnout, and meltdowns.
Common Stims
Every autistic person has their own stim repertoire.
- **Visual**: watching spinning objects, light patterns, flickering
- **Auditory**: humming, repeating words, clicking, music loops
- **Tactile**: fidgeting, rubbing textures, skin-picking, hair-twirling
- **Vestibular**: rocking, spinning, bouncing, swaying
- **Proprioceptive**: hand-flapping, jumping, squeezing, stretching
- **Oral**: chewing (gum, chewy jewellery, pen caps), teeth grinding
- **Olfactory**: sniffing objects, perfume, essential oils
Stimming at Work and in Public
You have the right to stim. If you need to stim discreetly:
- Under-desk fidgets, foot rocking, toe-wiggling
- Fidget rings, spinner rings, worry stones in pockets
- Doodling during meetings (explain it helps you listen if needed)
- Chewing gum or discreet oral stims
- Request a private workspace where you can stim freely
Special Interests
The Power of Special Interests
Special interests are areas of intense, passionate focus that
provide deep joy, comfort, and meaning. They are one of the
greatest gifts of being autistic.
- **Joy and flow** — losing yourself in your interest is deeply restorative
- **Expertise** — many autistic people become true subject matter experts
- **Career potential** — special interests can become professions
- **Community** — finding others who share your interest creates connection
- **Self-regulation** — engaging with interests is calming and grounding
- **Identity** — your interests are part of who you are
Embracing Your Interests
Some autistic people have been shamed for their interests being
"too intense," "too unusual," or "too childish." Reject this.
- There is no such thing as an interest too niche or too deep
- Age-appropriate gatekeeping is ableist — love what you love
- Infodumping to willing listeners is a valid form of connection
- Rotating between interests is normal — some are lifelong, some are phases
- Using interests as rewards and motivation is smart self-management
- Special interests are not obsessions — they are passions
Routines and Predictability
Why Routines Matter
Routines reduce the executive function demands of daily life.
When something is routine, it requires less conscious decision-making,
less energy, and less anxiety.
- **Morning routines** — same order every day reduces decision fatigue
- **Meal routines** — specific meals on specific days
- **Shutdown routines** — end-of-day ritual to transition from activity to rest
- **Weekly rhythms** — specific days for specific chores or activities
- **Transition routines** — the same steps to move between activities
When Routines Break
Changes to routine can cause significant distress. Strategies:
- **Visual schedules** — seeing the new plan reduces anxiety
- **Advanced warning** — as much notice as possible before changes
- **Transition objects** — bring a familiar item into new situations
- **Script the new situation** — mentally rehearse what will happen
- **Have a backup plan** — knowing the exit strategy reduces anxiety
- **Self-compassion** — it is okay to be upset by disrupted routines
Sleep
Autistic Sleep Challenges
Up to **80%** of autistic people experience sleep difficulties.
These can include insomnia, irregular sleep-wake cycles, difficulty
falling asleep due to racing thoughts, and sensory barriers to sleep.
- **Consistent sleep and wake times** — even on weekends
- **Blackout curtains** — complete darkness
- **White/brown noise** — mask environmental sounds
- **Weighted blanket** — deep pressure promotes sleep
- **Cool room temperature** — most people sleep better cool
- **No screens 30-60 min before bed** — or use strong blue light filters
- **Sensory-friendly pyjamas** — soft, tagless, comfortable
- **Bedtime routine** — same steps every night signals sleep time
- **Melatonin** — discuss with your doctor; common supplement for autistic sleep
- **Ear plugs** — if partner snores or environment is noisy
Autistic Burnout
What Is Burnout?
**Autistic burnout** is a state of physical, emotional, and cognitive
exhaustion caused by the cumulative effect of navigating a world not
built for you. It is different from typical burnout. Symptoms include:
- Loss of previously mastered skills (speech, executive function, self-care)
- Reduced tolerance for sensory input
- Extreme fatigue that sleep does not fix
- Increased meltdowns or shutdowns
- Loss of speech or increased selective mutism
- Withdrawal from social contact
- Depression-like symptoms
- Loss of interest even in special interests
Preventing Burnout
Prevention is always better than recovery.
- **Reduce masking** — be yourself as much as possible
- **Honour your limits** — say no to things that cost too many spoons
- **Regular rest** — not just on weekends; daily recovery time
- **Sensory management** — proactively manage your environment
- **Maintain routines** — stability protects energy
- **Limit transitions** — fewer changes per day
- **Special interests** — make time for joy every day
- **Seek support early** — do not wait until you crash
Recovering from Burnout
Burnout recovery is slow — often months. Be patient with yourself.
- **Reduce all non-essential demands** immediately
- **Unmask completely** in your home environment
- **Return to safe foods, safe routines, safe places**
- **Allow skill regression** — it is temporary
- **Stim freely and abundantly**
- **Avoid social media comparisons** — your recovery is your own
- **Professional support** — autism-informed therapist
- **Time** — give yourself permission to take as long as you need